The following is a big chunk of text stolen from 'Doing things right in matters of the heart'...girltalks current book for their bookclub. I just found this very helpful, and sorry to some of you, it pretty much applies to marriage! Oh yeah and they are on ch10 or something, this is from ch7, im a bit behind.
In matters of the heart, it is right that men should lead and women welcome and guide that leadership. She is helpmate (gen2v18). Her goal is to give her man all the help he needs to lead well. His goal is to humbly accept the responsibility and not run from it or wield it like a club.
The guidance that she provides him comes mainly in two forms: in helping him think clearly and encouraging him to act confidently. What comes from this is a shared victory. If it proves a mistake, it is borne together. Either way, what is fostered is true unity of spirit which is the heart of the matter, where the two become one. We have to work at it, but if we do, true unity is fostered and preserved in the complementary exchange of male leadership and female guidance.
i dont know if this is helpful for anyone reading or not. im not sure if this is a universal thing but the more i read about marriage i know im not alone. i feel like im more of the leader but know in my head i shouldnt be. some older women have told me that u have this picture of marriage in ur head and u submitting but the reality is just not the same. but i think thats a bit of a cop out. i doubt it is something that comes easy peasy the day u get home from honeymoon. it has to be worked at. it is not effortless. women secretly want to lead and men secretly dont want to. but to be wise, would be to resist this desire and instead of getting annoyed about things that arent done, leave him some space to become the leader that God wants him to be. im not very patient and by no means have mastered this...so join me in my aim to help our husbands be the leader that God wants them to be.
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